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Weird Al Yankovic: Everything You Know Is Wrong Lyrics

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Artist: Weird Al Yankovic
Song title: Everything You Know Is Wrong
Lyrics:



With a rabid wolverine in my underwear

When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat

Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes



I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?"

"Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?"

"Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"

I probably would have kept on guessing

But about that time we crashed into the truck



And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt

Finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer

Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me



Everything you know is wrong

Black is white, up is down and short is long

And everything you thought was just so

Important doesn't matter



Everything you know is wrong

Just forget the words and sing along

All you need to understand is

Everything you know is wrong



I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams

When I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension

And soon I was abducted by some aliens from space

Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr



They sucked out my internal organs

And they took some polaroids

And said I was a darn good sport

And as a way of saying thank you

They offered to transport me back to

Any point in history that I would care to go



And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night

So I could pay my phone bill on time

Just then the floating disembodied head of

Colonel Sanders started yelling



Everything you know is wrong

Black is white, up is down and short is long

And everything you thought was just so

Important doesn't matter



Everything you know is wrong

Just forget the words and sing along

All you need to understand is

Everything you know is wrong



I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin

When I got a nasty papercut

And, well, to make a long story short

It got infected and I died



So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter

By the pearly gates

And it's obvious he doesn't like

The Nehru jacket that I'm wearing

He tells me that they've got a dress code



Well, he lets me into heaven anyway

But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine

For all eternity

And every day he runs by screaming



Everything you know is wrong

Black is white, up is down and short is long

And everything you used to think was so important

Doesn't really matter anymore

Because the simple fact remains that



Everything you know is wrong

Just forget the words and sing along

All you need to understand is

Everything you know is wrong

Everything you know is wrong

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